I wanna do something productive but I don’t wanna leave my bed a classic novel written by me

(via msalanabloom)


i wish i was skinny enough to wear leather jackets and short jean shorts and short skirts with ripped leggings and boots and look sexy as hell and then come home and drink hot chocolate while wearing an oversized sweater and cute fuzzy socks without feeling like fucking shrek okay

(via msalanabloom)


they should make a new reality show where they take all of the Jenners’ money away from Kylie and Kendall and put them in a 2 bedroom, one bathroom house and a public school/college for a certain period of time and see how they cope i think that would be so funny

(via what-about-breakfast-at-tiffanys)




Do twins have the same sized dick?


Both reactions work

(via fried-clowns)



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Well there go
my plans for tomorrow

(via ultrafacts)


no denying it
“I think if you’re going to be conventionally romantic you’ve got to go all the way: a beautiful dinner somewhere lovely, with boat-loads of flowers, chocolates and champagne. But it might also be nice to wrap up warm and sit on a roof somewhere, with a cup of hot soup and your girl, watch the planes come in over London and listen to the night.”


Laugh syncope is a condition where one laughs so hard that they pass out.

NASA accidentally taped over the moon landing. There are no known original recordings of the event.

A father once hired a bunch of assassins to kill his son’s online World of Warcraft character because he was spending…



hmm 666



Obama was 18 once

very scary

not sure what this information means

brought to you by fox news

(via msalanabloom)


i would be more into 50 shades of grey if it were actually about

  • the history of black and white film
  • trying to find the perfect lampshade for your monochromatic living room
  • a very elaborate knitting project
  • a guy name grey with 50 pairs of sunglasses

(via msalanabloom)


phases of a student

  • does homework as soon as you get it 
  • worried about being caught copying homework
  • doesn’t bother with homework until last minute
  • too lazy to even copy from others

(via msalanabloom)


Anyone who talks about teenage girls like they’re somehow exceptionally annoying and immature has either never met or actively ignores teenage boys and their shenanigans.

(via msalanabloom)